Philippe Charbonneau and Tara Reynolds met by chance at a restaurant. They did not expect to fall in love. They happened to sit together at Dick’s Burger’s restaurant on July 13, 2017, while attending Hydrocephalus Canada’s Tasters Club. The Ottawa social group organizes regular events for individuals with spina bifida and hydrocephalus.
Their conversation lasted for two hours and they forgot about the others in the group. When it was time to leave, they sent each other friend requests on Facebook, changed their status from “single” to “being in a relationship” and the rest, as the saying goes “is history”.
Nine years later, the couple is going strong. In addition to attending the Tasters Club, they see each other regularly. They go to movies, shopping malls and spend time together at Tara’s place, watching television and playing board games. Each year, they celebrate their anniversary by going out to dinner. They both celebrate their birthdays in September.
Tara and Philippe live in separate long term care residences, since they need support to manage their activities of daily living. However, plans are under way for Philippe to move permanently to Tara’s long term care residence. In the meantime, Philippe visits Tara as often as he can, taking adaptive transit. They both eagerly anticipate when they can move in together.
Philippe and Tara agree that with both having spina bifida and hydrocephalus they share a strong bond through a mutual understanding and acceptance of their disabilities. There is nothing to explain. Tara, aged 50, had dated before, but Philippe, aged 43, had not.
“My mom thought our relationship would not work because of the age difference,” Tara says. However, Tara told her mother that it would work, “because they love each other.” Four months into their relationship, Philippe bought Tara a promise ring that she never takes off.
Tara ‘s parents are no longer living. Philippe’s dad is still alive and is very close to Tara. He thinks of her as his daughter-in-law and she says she calls him “dad”.
Another important aspect of sharing the same disabilities is that Philippe and Tara look out for each other, noticing when the other does not look well, and encouraging them to seek medical attention.
When I asked Tara and Philippe the secret to their successful relationship, they shared the following:
“Tara is thoughtful, outgoing and funny and makes me laugh. We seem to know what the other is thinking or about to say,” Philippe says.
“Philippe is fun loving and makes me laugh, too. There is never a dull moment when we are together. He is giving, and thoughtful and never thinks of himself, but he can be stubborn!”
May Tara and Philippe continue to enjoy many more years of happiness together.
